Comments on: Reciprocity in China

by: seth

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 14:15:29 +0000

In my brief experience in China, this sort of thing is rare. What is much more common is sort of the reverse: Where people are friendly when it seems to me they have nothing to gain from our friendship.

by: Nico

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 06:00:12 +0000

As an American who’s lived in China for about 2.5 years, I agree with Prof. Roberts that this kind of thing is common in China. In my more cynical moments (I try to keep those to a minimum) it seems like many people are only interested in “friendship” with me so they can ask me for a favor, something they often do quite soon after initiating the “friendship”. I also would be fine with a straight-up proposal for an exchange, but that is often not how it goes. Even a request after some kind of hospitality would be OK ,though this may also seem a bit weird to me, depending on the details. It seems like I just don’t have the background assumptions about how reciprocity works that the Chinese do.

I think Prof. Roberts is also right that it has to do with poverty. In poor societies, highly local cooperation is a major source of social and material resources, and these norms become internalized. People from developed countries are more willing to make less binding social relationships, because the marginal benefit of an additional relationship is much smaller. The fact that you see the same norms in Taiwan suggests to me that norms like this are sticky; they outlast the economic conditions that gave rise to them (just an armchair hypothesis, for what it’s worth).

I should mention that I have several very good Chinese friends, whom I’m happy to help anytime.

by: seth

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 08:09:28 +0000

Can one incident represent all of China? A better question is: Can one incident shed any light? If it was completely weird, maybe not, but the experiences of the Filipino graduate student convinced me that it was not completely weird.

by: alyce

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 06:09:42 +0000

Only one incident cannot represent whole China.

by: Crane Wang

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 16:31:42 +0000

OK, as a Chinese, I have to admit I didn’t figure out what was going on.
I also run into such awkward communications now and then. oops.

I suppose sometimes people just feel an invisible psychological compulsion to show hospitality. Not exactly because they want to be friendly or they are really that happy to having friends around, it’s just according to such psychological compulsion (maybe cultural as well), having friends & showing hospitality indicate a positive reputation and good social status.

by: seth

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 15:57:30 +0000

Wong China, yes, I agree with you, “she [could] welcome [my] coming without any condition, and give [me] a nice reception to establish a tie of friendship, [and] after that talk about the article” — that would have been fine.

by: Wong China

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 13:41:05 +0000

Seth, now I understand what you mean, but I still don’t know why can’t she welcome your coming without any condition, and give you a nice reception to establish a tie of friendship, after that, talk about the article (or ask you to be a co-writer). You would not refuse a hospitable host, right?
Frankly speaking, we Chinese are very cunning, it’s hard to see any genuine reciprocity or dedication, as well as any awkward bargain. Chinese are good at packing the nakedly exchanges into kindness and friendship. So I just wonder why she has to be so honest to make it as a condition before you go…I felt a little sick to go on.
The norms of reciprocity, love, thanksgiving, selfless, devotion, service…are the mental terms correlated to the cultural background, especially religious background. And the gentle side of human society is what social scientists pursue, without that, the richer people get, the poorer society is.

by: dt

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 09:04:44 +0000

The reason why they didn’t mention the english paper help at the beginning may be that their request is known to all, and they didn’t want others know the paper modifying request.
And I felt the assistant’s letter was with impoliteness, his/her request sounds like a command, this goes against the basic culture core of the chinese-modest and politeness. So when i firstly read your emails, I felt something wrong with the assistant, maybe it was just his/her english problem(both paper and letter)…

by: seth

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 06:54:20 +0000

Wong China, I don’t think she could just pay $200 to get her paper fixed. It is technical psychology material, someone not a professor of psychology would probably make a bunch of mistakes. I’m sure the assistant didn’t misquote the professor; the request for English help, when it came, was very clear. I don’t mind at all that they expected to get something back; the problem for me was that this wasn’t made clear at the beginning. In the beginning all that was mentioned was “research collaboration” — nothing about English help. Had they been more upfront about what they wanted, and the paper not needing too much work, I would have been happy to help them.

by: alex

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 06:30:57 +0000

I am a Chinese. This really happends in some places of China, but I do not think this could be attributed to just “cultural differences”.

I have a theory, so called “reciprocity” is related to high population desity, especially high immigrant population, without a stable common culture.

In fact, in Chinese, so called “reciprocity” is called “市侩” (Shi Kuai), with a derogative tincture.